Saturday, August 29, 2015

Limited Edition Brownie Batter Oreos

The flavor people at Oreo have been very busy lately. They came out with Smoreos at the beginning of the summer, then there were the cotton candy ones for Fourth of July (I wasn't going near those, sorry), and now there are these:

Yep, Brownie Batter Oreos.

I was skeptical of these right away, because, really, how are these different from the chocolate-on-chocolate Oreos? Very different, as it turns out.

The filling really does taste like brownie batter. It's rich and thick and chocolatey, just like brownie batter should be. The problem is, these cookies taste like brownie batter, and that's a little weird. Like, maybe if you covered them in tin foil and baked them for 45 minutes, then they might be better. But I'm not about to wait 45 minutes to eat Oreos (or brownies), so these Oreos remain as-is: strangely accurate.

They are much better dipped in milk, but still a little weird. The "ew, this is raw, we're all gonna get salmonella" vibe goes away, but it turns into a fudge-frosting filled cookie. That isn't entirely bad, especially if you happen to like fudge frosting, but it's kinda too much. You know how a spoonful of fudge frosting coats your throat and leaves you with a permanent sugar high and a fuzzy chocolate-flavored tongue? These do that. It's very, very weird. The beautiful balance of gentle chocolate cookie and sweet vanilla creme is completely lost on these cookies. Instead, they're more "you like chocolate? Here, eat a can of cocoa and some Hershey bars, and look! brownies! and Oreos! and fudge! and chocolate frosting! Eat it! Eat it all!" And you know, that really isn't my thing.

These aren't bad, really, but they're definitely not my favorite and they don't quite live up to Oreo's usual standards. Thus, the Limited Edition Brownie Batter Oreos are formally awarded four out of five Half Asses.
Also something to keep in mind is that while these are blatantly advertised in the Target ad this week, they are not available in my local Target. Instead, the Target Oreo section is filled to its brim with Reese's Oreos and Cotton Candy Oreos, because, really, did anybody eat those?

If you tried these (or the cotton candy ones and you lived to tell about it), let me know! I'd love to hear what you think!

Also, what new flavor do you think Oreo should try next? They have to be running out of ideas by now. I'm thinking we need to expand into the weird-flavored-chips arena. Like, we could do sushi flavored Oreos and macaroni and cheese flavored Oreos and maybe even Doritos flavored Oreos. (Fair warning, I wouldn't actually eat any of these, but they're bound to turn up eventually.) Alternatively, we could petition Nabisco for butterscotch flavored Oreos, but I doubt those would be nearly as successful as Sriracha Oreos. 

Monday, August 17, 2015

Life Updates

Guys, life happened. Like, holy crap, life happened A LOT. So let's catch up.

First of all, I quit my job. You know, that one that was 30 miles away and made me hate myself and all of humanity? Yeah, that one. I quit. I really really thought about doing something completely destructive to the building before I left, but I decided that I would rather not go to jail, so I returned all 438 rolls of toilet paper and gave up my elaborate tripwire plan. Walking out all civilized wasn't nearly as much fun, but at least I didn't leave in a straitjacket, so I guess it all worked out.

Second of all, I got some new jobs. My first new job kinda sucks, and I kinda suck at it, but that's okay because at least I'm not trying to burn down the building. My second new job is fabulous. Everybody is absurdly nice and I get to work at two different locations,one of which is three minutes (three minutes!) away from my house and has a pond view and a family of geese, and the other of which is a gorgeous 100-year-old building with spiral staircases and stained glass. I love it.

Also, there's the whole school thing.

Since the last time we spoke, I managed to survive the Math Professor From Hell, and as pissed as I am at my reduced GPA, I will never have to MOD7 again, which is a very good thing. Over the summer I took my mandatory literature class and completely fell in love with the class and the professor (who shall henceforth be known as Professor Koi Pond). I also developed a raging love/hate relationship with John Steinbeck, who is an excellent writer and a despicable human being. I am currently contemplating becoming an English major and to further this contemplation, I am taking two more classes with Professor Koi Pond in the fall. Last week I was officially inducted into the the honor society (thanks to my newly discovered nerditude) and you are now speaking to the Phi Theta Kappa Vice President of Communications. I hope you are adequately impressed. ;-)

In similar news, I recently rediscovered reading for pleasure, and it has been awesome. For anyone else out there who spends 80% of their life drowning in homework, "reading for pleasure" is this kooky idea that lets you read things that aren't on a syllabus AND you don't have to write a paper after you read them! I know! It's crazy! In the last two weeks I've read The Women of Brewster Place (which was amazing but broke my heart), half of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (which sucks), and almost half of Julie & Julia (which involves some gruesome animal bits but is otherwise pretty cool).

As you can see, I've been pretty busy these past few months, but lucky for you, there are new Pop Tarts flavors and Sheetz has released a quesorrito and I learned how to make Lazy Girl Risotto, so we should be seeing lots more of each other soon.

In the meantime, tell me what you've been up to! Anything awesome happen to you this summer? Anything less than awesome? What have you been eating? I want to hear everything! (especially the eating)