And also, pie:
But not just any pie. No, this is Oreo Cream Pie, the greatest of all the pies. Well, okay, maybe not the greatest of all the pies. Maybe, like, the second greatest, because, yaknow, apple. And maybe pumpkin. Because Thanksgiving wouldn't exist without pumpkin pie. So let's say the third greatest of all the pies.
Don't let it's third-place status fool you, though. This pie is delicious. I've been looking forward to it all week. My coworkers were all like, "So, Katie, what are you doing with your Saturday off?" And I was all, "Sitting on my couch. Eating pie." And my coworkers were all, "Who are you, Homer Simpson?" And I was all, "Shut up or I won't share my pie."
And then they shut up. Because nobody messes with this pie.
(Actually, no, not really. They did call me Homer Simpson, but I didn't offer to share my pie. They're not pieworthy. Very few people are pieworthy.)
So how do you make this glorious circle of pieness, you ask? I'll tell you how. You get your ingredients.
And then you squish some of your ingredients.
And then you put your other ingredients in a bowl and squish them together.
And then you add the squishy ingredient into the other squished ingredients.
And then you pour it into an Oreo pie shell and sprinkle leftover squishedness on top.
Then you stick the whole shibang in the freezer for, like, some hours....or however long you can stand to wait before pulling it out and devouring it, which may be considerably less than some hours.
And then you eat it. Potentially all by yourself. Because Oreo Cream Pie is awesome.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, here are the actual directions....
Approximately 10-ish Oreos
3oz cream cheese
2 tbs sugar
1/2 cup Half-and-Half
8oz Cool Whip
1 Oreo cookie pie shell
What You Do:
1. Whirl maybe, like, sevenish of your Oreos around in a food processor until they're nice and crumbly. You're looking for one full cup of Oreos, so you may have to add or take away (read: eat) based on how accurate my Oreo counting skills are.
2. Squish up your three ounces of cream cheese with the sugar. Do not accidentally use a full 8oz package. That would be bad.
3. Pour the Half-and-Half into the cream cheese and mix.
4. Stir in the Cool Whip.
5. Stir in the Oreo crumbs.
7. Pour into the pie shell.
8. Top with chopped up Oreos. Not crushed Oreos. I may have gotten ahead of myself and crushed up too many Oreos, which I then threw on top of the pie because I figured, hey, they're Oreos, they'll be delicious no matter what. I did not take into consideration the fact that crushed up Oreos kind of look like crap. For a minute or two I considered going back to the store and buying more stuff to make another Oreo pie, but I'm pretty sure the people at the grocery store are about ready to start calling me the Crazy Oreo Chick, so I decided to hold my horses and stick with the crappy-looking pie.
9. Throw the whole thing in the freezer, preferably overnight, preferably right next to some Oreo Klondike bars that aren't nearly as good as Oreo Cream Pie. Remove from freezer approximately 15ish minutes before cutting.
Be sure to share this pie only with pieworthy people. Like me.