Idea #1: Pesto
Start with a green salad.
Wash it down with a festive beverage. Ignore any signs of radioactivity.
Serve pesto and fettuccine as the main course. Secretly dye the pasta water green so your noodles look extra cool in pictures.
Finish the meal with a delightful bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream that you most definitely did not have to buy twice because you bought cheap stuff the first time and then realized it wasn't actually green and had to go back to the store.
Idea #2: Fruit Salad
Get in touch with your inner Martha Stewart and make a fruit salad comprised of all the green fruits you can think of--specifically kiwis, green grapes, Granny Smith apples, and honeydew melon.
For an extra-special presentation, top with yogurt or the green sauce of your choice.
Just to let you know, this isn't my preferred dish as it involves slicing a honeydew melon which is unnervingly similar to a pumpkin on the inside and you all know how I feel about pumpkins.
Idea #3: Mexican
I don't think Saint Patrick's Day is widely celebrated south of the border, but I could be wrong, and just in case, we're going to eat a whole heapload of green Mexican foods. Like chips and salsa.
Or chips and guacamole.
And then a green burrito/wrap thing.
With a margarita.
Bonus Idea #4:
In case your inner Martha Stewart is on the fritz, you can eat split pea soup and lime sherbert, straight out of the tub.
Happy Saint Patrick's Day!
P.S. If you have a post-puking mugshot of you wearing flashing shamrock glasses and a "Kiss Me I'm Irish" t-shirt, please send me the pics!