Monday, September 23, 2013

Insulated Halloween Cups

I went to Walmart yesterday. I went with a list. I left with these:

I did not leave with lemonade mix or earbuds or macaroni and cheese. But who needs lemonade mix or earbuds or macaroni and cheese when you have glow in the dark Halloween travel mugs?

They're hot and cold compatible, absolutely adorable, and only $5.

I may need more.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Dorito Taco Salad Recipe

I have been on a Mexican food kick lately. Usually, I'm all up in Italian cuisine (read: pasta, with a side of pasta, and pasta for dessert), but the last few weeks I've been desperately craving Mexican meals. As such, my roommate and I have started making this incredibly delicious and unhealthy dinner.

How to make it:

1. Spread Doritos on a plate. If you aren't a fan of spice or are a traditionalist afraid of change, feel free to use tortilla chips instead.

2. Pour taco meat onto the Doritos. I use Morning Star Grillers Recipe Crumbles (read: fake beef) with mild taco seasoning.

3. Bury the above ingredients under a mountain of cheddar cheese.

4. Add taco sauce. My favorite is Old El Paso, but it can be hard to find.

5. Top with Lettuce and any other veggies you feel contradict the poor decisions made in previous layers.

Do you have any Mexican-inspired dishes to share? I'd love to hear them!

Sunday, September 15, 2013

There's an App-le Sauce For That

I was feeling autumnal today (thanks to the gorgeous weather), and decided to make some warm cozy deliciousness.

However, this was also my sorely-needed weekend off from work, so exuding any more effort than absolutely necessary was absolutely unacceptable.

The solution? Apple sauce!

I started with five gala apples and three pink lady apples.

Then I peeled, and chopped, and nibbled.

Then I cooked the apples on medium heat with 3/4 tsp of cinnamon and 1/4 tsp of nutmeg for twenty or thirty minutes.

Then I mashed and gobbled.

In the future, I will definitely make a double batch, cook the apples a little bit longer, and probably try a different variety of apple, just to see if I can make it any sweeter without actually adding sugar. I may also make apple butter instead, because....I'm a child of the south and my apple butter can kick your apple sauce's ass.....or something like that.

What do you crave in fall?

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Wednesday, September 4, 2013

I Haz a Cold

I don't know about you, but when I'm sick I find it especially difficult to find food. Partially because I'm drained and don't feel like cooking (Homemade lasagna? I think not!) and partially because nothing tastes particularly appetizing.

Since I've been getting progressively more sick and miserable since Friday, my lovely, dear, sweet roommate was kind enough to go to the store and get me what I was craving: orange juice and....


This pile of deliciousness is the only thing I've wanted to eat since feeling crummy. Last night I ate toast and strawberry jelly for dinner, but tonight? OJ and ramen with sour cream.

WHAT? Why are you gagging? This is delicious! This is one of the best kept secrets of the culinary world!

I know, it's repulsive to everyone but me, but it really was exactly what I wanted.

What do you eat when you're sick?

Monday, September 2, 2013

How NOT to Work in the Food Service Industry

This Labor Day celebrate unemployment and take these tips on how NOT to get a job in the food service industry. Already in the food service industry? Act fast and you may be able to take this advice and quickly get yourself out.

1. Don't learn to cook. 
If it's too late for that and you already know the difference between a whisk and a spatula, drop something very heavy on your head and hope you forget it.

2. Drop things.
Speaking of dropping things on your head, do that. While you're at it, go ahead and drop things on your feet and other people's feet and whatever other body parts you can find. No restaurant wants a klutz spilling soup down a patron's front, so clumsiness will take you a long way toward your goal of dining on government cheese.

3. Be gross.
Sneeze on your interviewer, "forget" to take a shower, put lots of gunk underneath your fingernails, and make sure you scratch lots of dandruff out of your hair while thinking up answers to questions.

4. Forget things.
"Did you want fries with that? No? Okay, that'll be $14.95. Did you want fries with that? No? What did you want again?"

5. Be stupid.
You may have to go back to step one and drop something on your head again, but being stupid will take you a long way in being out of a quality job in edibles. Forget to put the milk back in the fridge. Forget to set the timer when you make a soft boiled egg. Forget you already added salt and add it again. Salt is the spice of life, right? Right? If you said no, go find a heavier object.

Do you work in food? Do you wish you didn't? Leave your tips and tricks for surviving and getting canned in the comments below!